Bonnie Katz Psychotherapy

                Seven Roads To Resilience                       

          Making resilience a priority is necessary in order to create stamina.  You must learn to endure the tough road of disappointment, competition, and rejection.   Cultivating the ability to bounce back, and not take it all personally will help you to protect your unique talents from gradually being chipped away.  Resilience is an investment that is worth every amount of effort because it is what you will need in order to stay in the game.  If you’re into sports, think long distance runner not sprinter.    When you have resilience, you harness inner strengths and rebound more quickly from a setback or a challenge.

Here are seven seeds worth planting:

1. Keep things in perspective.  Even when facing painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective.  Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.
2. Accept change as part of life.  Accepting situations that you cannot change can help free you up to focus on those situations that you do have the ability to change.  Is there something you need to let go of in order to move on? 
3. Seek positive people who inspire you.  Negative people drain your energy and can leave you feeling empty and depressed.  Find friends that are uplifting and have a positive energy.  Enthusiasm is contagious and can bring out the best in you.
4. Create optimistic realism.  “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” –William Arthur Ward.  Develop the ability to size up your situation while staying open to positive possibilities.
5. Practice compassion and generosity.  Positive emotions are evoked when helping others.   Did you know that acts of kindness reduce physical pain by releasing endorphins (pain-killing molecules manufactured by your brain)?
6. Be aware of your thoughts.  Are you self-sabotaging by having an inner dialogue which is critical and judgmental, or are you kind to yourself?  Remember everything starts with a thought, where are your thoughts taking you?
7. Learn to laugh more.  Empirical research shows that laughter has healthful effects.  It can increase the heart rate, improve blood circulation, work muscles all over the body, release endorphins (remember those natural painkillers) and protect one against depression.  No kidding.

There are many other ways to create resilience in addition to the seven I mentioned, i.e.:  exercise, spirituality, healthy, loving relationships.